There are times when nursing gets to be too much, mentally, physically and emotionally. And you need a break. A REAL break. A MRS. MURPHY break.

So what do you do?????

Go to work on a party boat, of course!!!

Do you like fishing? Sometimes.

Have you ever CLEANED a fish? Swabbed out�a boat? Do you�know�the difference between�port and starboard? No, but Mrs. Murphy is invincible and can learn almost anything. And sets about doing this almost with a vengeance.

FISHING ACCORDING TO MURPHY

It is not wise to have a hangover when you're dealing with chum. (Although Mrs. Murphy found this out vicariously, because she never HAD a hangover while dealing with chum.)

You don't KNOW what chum is? Let's just put it this way -�you wouldn't want it for breakfast.

Now, in order for chum to work, you need to fling it, throw it, toss it, or otherwise get it into the water. Plastic serving spoons are ideal for this - they have a�certain . . . flinginess.

HINT: Make sure you're not facing into the wind while flinging chum.

It is, however, perfectly acceptable to plan your flinging in accordance with prevailing wind currents so that it smacks the nastiest, grungiest, most obnoxious passenger right in the face. Especially if such passenger is hung over.

Mrs. Murphy learned one thing early on - when you're under five feet tall, hauling the anchor manually is not a fun thing to do with your time. Yielding to tradition, Mrs. Murphy was perfectly capable of batting her big blue eyes to get some gullible schmuck to haul it for her.

Total number of times in two years Mrs. Murphy hauled the anchor herself - ONE.Of course, that one time had to be THE one time the stupid thing was stuck in the mud.

Now, the captain, once they had pulled away from the dock, liked to relax and have his coffee. So Mrs. Murphy was allowed to pilot the boat.

A BLOND.

BEHIND THE WHEEL.

HEADING FOR THE OPEN SEA.

WITH THE CAPTAIN DOZING.

T

H

I

S

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C

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D

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B

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A

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P

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B

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M

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Q: Where're ya going? �A: Around the lobster pots. (says Mrs. Murphy, busy looking down at the pots)

Captain: Better look straight ahead.

Mrs. Murphy does so. And finds herself heading STRAIGHT FOR THE BATH HOUSE ON THE BEACH!!!

Well, we've learned THAT lesson. So here we go again. Make it past the north jetty - AND SEE THE STUPID DREDGE DIRECTLY AHEAD OF US!

Radio: ...tornado warning.

HUH ?????? Tornado??? Well, this certainly woke her up. Hey!!! Captain!!!

Captain: keep driving the boat.

But what if . . .???

Captain: we'll end up in Oz. Keep driving the boat.

ONE RULE AND ONLY ONE RULE:

LEAVE

YOUR

PROBLEMS

ON

SHORE

Best job Mrs. Murphy ever had.

The "Victor E" was a special boat captained by a special man at a time in Mrs. Murphy's life when this was desperately needed. For that, we thank you, Fred.

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