And here comes Mrs. Murphy. To the woods. The boonies. The land of the frozen
tundra.
It's election day.
And Mrs. Murphy, being the good citizen that she is, has registered to vote,
and is actually looking forward to the experience.
UNTIL SHE GETS TO THE POLLS.
Hhhmmmm . . . .
Two or three cars in the parking "lot" (the cleared area by the little building
that for some strange reason unbeknownst to Mrs. Murphy is known as the "town
hall").
One or two people standing outside in the freezing cold holding up signs
for their candidates. Not talking. Scowling at each other. Steam coming from
their ears instead (given the subzero temps) of their mouths.
Making a feeble attempt at a smile for the two outside, Mrs. Murphy heads
for the building.
AND DISCOVERS, MUCH TO HER
AMAZEMENT, THAT NOT
EVERYONE IN HER NEW TOWN
HAS DRIVEN TO THE POLLS!!!
HANDS
MRS. MURPHY
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A PENCIL!!!!!
1. Thou shalt not forget to vote, lest ye have bad luck hunting after ye
have cast ballot;
2. Thou shalt not forget to check thy rifle/bow/muzzle-loader/etc. at the
entrance lest there be an altercation and someone misses a good hunting day
waiting to be bailed out;
3. New folks shalt not look down upon the method of voting, lest they find
THEIR name on the ballot next election day. (After all, there ARE only so
many people in town!)
4. Thou shalt not bring thine own ballot to the town hall.
5. Thou shalt not vote for anyone nicknamed "bubba", as those people are
imposters. (Bubbas are from the coastal areas, not the frozen tundra, and
therefore cannot be trusted with "the books".)
6. Thou shalt not nickname THYSELF "bubba" to avoid your name being inadvertantly
put on the ballot.
7. Thou shalt not purchase and take to location of voting thine own #2 pencil.
This is viewed as being "hoity toity" and is apt to get you mugged.
8. Thou shalt not feign surprise at election results. Yes, we know thy vote
was pre-ordained. But keeping up appearances is important.
9. Thou shalt refrain from heckling, sneering at, making raspberries at/around/
teepeeing the homes of/or otherwise harrassing the winners, especially if
all are from the same family. (At least until you're paid for showing up
on election day and making your vote count!)
Some of them had walked.
They're checking their
guns at the door!!!
DOING WHAT!!!!!!
Mrs. Murphy is
seriously considering re-thinking her decision to partake of this adventure
when someone approaches her, asking her name.
Carrying a piece of paper.
That says, in bold letters
at the top, "ballot".
The woman smiles kindly,
checks off Mrs. Murphys' name, and . . . along with the paper ballot . .
.
A PENCIL??? TO CAST A
VOTE WITH???
Yup, and the ballots are
counted by HAND, too.
VOTING IN THE�NORTH
COUNTRY�ACCORDING TO MRS. MURPHY:
�
�
